Muslim Women Stand Up For Gender Equality (Unabridged)

The article opens with, “Have you ever come to our local Islamic Center in Manoa?” I too extend an invitation to all that would like to visit, but not under the same premise of sister Mona’s article. Although intent can only truly be known by the individual and God, the statement made that Muslim women locally pray in a separate room and follow prayers through closed-circuit television was written to insight anger and to perpetuate the stereotypical oppression and mistreatment of Muslim women. My sister has misled the public by describing the separation of men and women as something demeaning and ugly but I say to you that it is only a matter of perception and how you choose to look at a situation. Our Masjid recently underwent extensive renovations and the outcome is beautiful and what the majority of the women from our community wanted.

During the initial phases of renovation, prior to even the design phase, the community, both men and women, were invited to give input as to how they wanted what little money we could raise to be spent. A priority was given to the women and their comfort. I know this as I attended those meetings. My husband and I had numerous discussions regarding the wishes of the women and what changes they wanted to see made. The ideas were handled with the utmost care and respect and no idea was dismissed, however, for practical purposes not all ideas could be implemented. The process in determining the direction taken for the renovation of the Masjid went through the democratic process and was put to a vote. The women’s voices were heard and an overwhelming majority wanted the separation of men and women for a variety of reasons.

You see, the Masjid in Manoa, as is the situation in all Mosques in the US, is not only a place we gather for worship but also an Islamic Center where we gather for other social community events. As we use the Masjid for a variety of purposes the women voiced their concern that they wanted this space to be comfortable and designed with their needs in mind. The women expressed their desire for privacy as well as functionality. The renovation resulted in two separate rooms for the women – one being primarily for worship and the other for socializing, discussion and education. When women attend the Masjid they want to be able to relax, perhaps take off the Hijab (head scarf), talk freely with other sisters, breast feed their child, etc. As women attend the Masjid not only for prayer but also as a social outlet, to interact with other sisters of the same faith without the governance of men, this floor plan better meets the needs of the sisters that actually do attend the Masjid. It was requested that the women continue to have a separate area from the men to more fully facilitate the free interaction among the women. The floor plan design was a direct result from the input of the sister’s of our community and was not designed as a punishment or power struggle imposed upon us from the brothers of our community.

This brings me back to it all being a matter of perception – whether the glass is half full or half empty. Is this separation one of oppression and control or is it truly one designed out of love and respect for the women in our community and the understanding of the elevation God has given women in Islam. If one is to believe that the separation of men and women is one that was forced upon us by the men in our community, then what we are saying is, that although an overwhelming majority of women voted for this separation, women are feeble minded and are not capable of making a decision such as this for themselves. I have more confidence in the women of our community and acknowledge that they are capable of making such a decision. Unfortunately influence from sources outside of the of our community assists in perpetuating the need to be the “same”. I think if more women truly understood their power as that given to them from God and understand that it comes from within rather than outside ourselves it would be easier for women to flourish in this society. This problem affects not only the Islamic community but rather women’s struggle in this country as a whole.

The resolution of a problem is not to add insult to injury. It was stated in this article that many places of worship, women and men pray together as a single family and it was criticized that this is not how it is in our local Masjid. I don’t view this tradition as a negative one. Prayer is not something that you do as an interaction with those around you; it is something that is sacred between you and God. There is no discussion; there is only a connection between your spirit and your Creator. Islamic prayer is like no other religious prayer in that it is not only vocal but also physical. The prayers require both men and women to put their foreheads to the ground while on one’s hands and knees. This is a position of vulnerability as well as surrender and to perform this properly with complete abandonment to the prayer and it’s intent, one must feel completely safe and without self conscience. I ask, how can this prayer truly be performed with its intended outcome if men must walk by and through the women to get to the front of the room to perform their prayers? This complete separation of men and women during this time of worship is one that allows both genders to focus on the intention of their time at the Masjid. Praying in congregation makes the prayer more powerful, but to be powerful it is not a requirement for men and women to pray alongside one another. By praying separately it allows for less distraction and a deeper more fulfilling connection between God and each individual. This is my understanding of why one would come to the Masjid for prayer in the first place.

The article continues to state that as a woman there is little or no access to the Imam (the religious leader of the community). I beg to differ. Great care has been implemented to ensure that the Imam is available to the women to offer religious study classes, Arabic classes, etc., however, if the women do not take advantage of all that is offered to them then perhaps the blame is misplaced.

I agree that indeed equality for Muslim women in the Masjids is a hot topic among Muslims worldwide. But what is equality? I believe the true problem is in understanding equality and striving towards it. Equality does not mean “the same as”. It means to be of the same value or worth; it does not mean to be identical to. This to me is the height of arrogance. God made us equal but different, why? Who are we to then say that I want to be the “same” as a man? Women must embrace the God given gifts that they have been given, the position they have been elevated to in society and let go of the concept that they must be all that a man is to be of any great consequence or importance. As women we need to learn to trust the position, power and strength that God has given us, to believe in God’s master plan. As women we need to embrace our own spirit and recognize that we are different from men and be grateful for these differences. Women have been elevated to a great place in Islamic society, in the family structure. Women’s roles and responsibilities are not about the cooking, cleaning and laundry of the household but rather about the reality that women hold the key to the heart and soul of the family, of the children. Women are inherent nurturers; this is a God given gift that is often overlooked and undervalued. . It is undervalued not only by the men that we claim oppress us and relegate us to either the back of the room or complete separation but also through our struggle to be the same as a man. We have abandoned and diminished the role which we were intended to fulfill. It is with the permission of God that women have been given the power to mold the values, virtues and education of the children. What an awesome responsibility; what an honor. This is precisely what is meant by the Hadith that Paradise is under the feet of our mothers. We hold their spirits in our hands and so often we fail to recognize our true purpose and calling in this lifetime. I do not want to be the same as a man; I want to derive my power from the gifts that I have been given as a woman from God. I want to strive for the virtues of humility and understand that as stated by Imam Zaid, “Our fulfillment does not lie in our liberation, rather it lies in the conquest of our soul and its base desires…therein lies one of the greatest secrets to unleashing of our real human potential. This is so because it is our human potential that separates us from the rest of this creation, and it is to the extent that we are able to conquer our physical nature that we realize that spiritual potential…When we live for our Lord it becomes easy to live with each other. If in our personal relations we can come to embody the spirit of mutual love, mercy and affection, encouraged by our Prophet, peace and blessing of God be upon him, we will be able to make a beautiful and lasting contribution towards the uplift of men and women alike.”

This is not to say that men have gained the humility that we as Muslims are instructed to strive for nor does it mean that women are no longer oppressed by man, however, this article is not intended to address this struggle. Some men have and continue to mistreat women, but this is not about Islam it is about culture.

There continues to be a trend in the discussion of “conservative” Muslims vs. “moderate” or “progressive” Muslims. I find these terms confusing – Islam does not and should not change to respond to whims, wants or needs, but rather the worshiper should do the changing to conform to the religion of his or her choice.

These points have led up to the main point of the discussion – women leading a mixed-gender congregational prayer and the need to “update” Islam. Islam is complete as prescribed by the Qur’an and the teachings of the Prophet and is not in need of “updating”. I refer you to Imam Zaid’s article posted on the Muslim Association of Hawaii’s website which offers an in depth technical discussion of the history of the Hadith discussed in Sister Mona’s article.

Finally, I don’t think that a woman leading the prayer is a cause for celebration and should not be referred to as a “history making event”. Perhaps more appropriately it should be referred to as a travesty, one that may continue to cause strife in our community. It should not be considered a first step for women to gain equality in our local mosque. I think the first step must be women embracing all that represents being a woman, all that God has given us, the position He has created for us in the Islamic society. Perhaps instead of looking to the men as the cause of our discontent we should instead look within and see why it is we continue to fight amongst ourselves and why we fight so hard against our own nature in our quest to be the same as a man. Let’s celebrate being women and stop trying so hard to be men.

In my experience what women really want is respect and love, to be valued and truly cherished. We attain these virtues by embracing our place in society, not by working to break down the barriers that make men and women different.

Islam is Islam and those that strive to change it, perhaps, should look for a different religion. It is historically and religiously clear that women have never, nor were they ever intended to lead a mixed-gender prayer as is the case of priesthood in the catholic religion. In this struggle to be “equal” are we now going to see women fighting to become the new Pope of the Catholic religion? I sincerely hope not. If there are those that would like to be led in prayer by a women, by all means it’s a free country – form your own religion and make whatever rules you like, however, you forfeit the right to call it Islam.

As it is with anything in life, we can not hear this message until our hearts are sincerely open and when this happens we wonder why we didn’t get it sooner…it is after all a very simple concept.

Respectfully,

Your sister in Islam

Sister Niaama